I guess I'm a powerful woman. Most days I feel like a Care Bear with a business suit covering the sunshine rainbow across my tummy. I try to exist in a "man's world"--whatever that is (I think it has something to do with leather recliners, flat screen t.v.'s, beer, and gray t-shirts). I want to teach my daughter that there is no "man's world," just a world. I want her to feel powerful when she lets her sunshine rainbow shine--figuratively, of course. I want her to feel like she can wear ruffles and argue an appeal. I want her to be able to take a morning off to drop off her babies and have her coworkers think, "She's such a good mom." Not, "This is the fourth time this year that she's been late."
Today, GiGi took her first step toward being a powerful woman: Mother's Day Out. The name suggests that mommy gets some time out and about. Which, in my case is kind of sort of true.
RJ started school yesterday. He loves school. He marched right in, shouted, "Good morning Ms. Ancick! I'm here!" And with that, RJ had arrived. There are ten boys and two girls in his class. Good morning indeed, Ms. Ancick. And my heartfelt prayers for patience, strength, and perhaps a classroom donation of Febreeze.
Today was my GiGi's first day of Mother's Day Out. In my perfect dream world, I snuggled GiGi on the couch, fed her breakfast, and dropped her off in the loving arms of her teachers. In my real world, I woke up at 5, finished a brief, and then had to dye my hair (this isn't my natural color--shhhhh) because we had a "Power Woman" photo shoot for the firm at 9 a.m.
Daddy got GiGi out of bed and fed her Cheerios while I put on eyeliner for the first time in a month. I barely had time to kiss her fuzzy little head before I left. And I couldn't even shed a tear because I would ruin the eyeliner if I did.
I was powerful in the photo. I shifted poses when they said "shift." I smiled. I pouted. I gave 'em some attitude. And then they separated us into "senior" attorneys and "associate" attorneys. I'm somewhere in between. A misfit of sorts. A complication. Fortunately for me, there are a lot of powerful women at my firm; and I get to count them as friends. They don't care if I take off a morning, or an afternoon, or a whole day to take care of my babies. They still ask for my advice, and they recognize that I'm in that "in between" phase. They tell me I look too young to be in a senior level photo. They ask how GiGi is surviving her first day. They share stories about kids and cases. I posed for the associate photo. That's where I fit for now I suppose. And it nearly broke my heart. But we are powerful women still learning. I know the law. But, I'm still learning how to juggle and balance. Still learning life.
Apparently, GiGi gave her teachers some attitude too. When I arrived to pick her up, I heard a screaming baby up the hall from the classroom. My baby. She was displeased about the nap arrangements (they wanted her to take one). So, she had been sent to the hall with the church secretary. And, it nearly broke her heart (and mine too). But she's a powerful little woman still learning. Learning the rules. Learning to giggle. Learning life.
Someday, we'll both have it figured out. And when we do, we'll both wear our ruffles and let our sunshine rainbows shine. Figuratively of course. Until then, I'll do my best to offer kind words, hugs, and encouragement to my baby and my powerful women.
(A very heartfelt thank you to my powerful women friends. You know who you are. And you rock.)
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