The Equation

I'm not a math person (so you'll forgive any calculation errors please). I am an English major. A writer of sorts. A creative soul. But today, I'm working on an equation. There are 8,760 hours in a year. If you assume 8 hours a day for sleep (or computer time, or tv time, or reading)(2,920 hours), that leaves 5,840.  Assuming a 50 hour work week (more on that later) and two weeks of vacation a year, that leaves 3,340 for everything else. Everything else = commutes, showers, family dinners, soccer games, gymnastics, doctors appointments, dentist visits, trips to the dry cleaners, post office, grocery store, and yes, even vacation.

In 1958, an American Bar Association publication suggested that a reasonable billable year for attorneys was 1300 hours. Nowadays, we have the Internet. We have online research. No longer do lawyers spend hours and days sifting through dusty bins of law review articles and micro-fiche. Instead, we log on, put in a search term, and Bing! 1000 results. We have email, fax machines, and conference calls. We are, in theory, far more efficient than we were in 1958.

A reasonable billable year in 2012 is 1800 hours (some would say a reasonable year is 2200 hours). Days haven't gotten longer. A "business day" is still Monday-Friday.

The billable hour requires that each day be tracked in 6 minute increments. A study by Yale University found that in order to bill 37.5 hours, a lawyer will spend about 50 hours a week in the office.  I struggle with billable hours. I don't bill my clients for time I spend getting coffee in the kitchen. I don't bill potty time. And, I don't bill every 30 second email as a 6 minute time entry. I try to get home in time to see my children before bedtime, and I like my coworkers, so I spend some time visiting everyday. Like everything else, keeping time is a careful balance.

Today is my last day of maternity leave. And I struggle with a billable, workable balance. There are variables in every equation. My equation takes into account 7 years dedicated to a 7 year partnership track, stigma attached to "balanced hours" plans, childcare, and scheduling conflicts. I can assign values to each of those things. If X is childcare and Y is stigma, then X plus Y equals breaking even. The variables I struggle with are these:

There is no reasonable, feasible way to assign a value to time spent with my babies. The coos and goos I will miss with GiGi, and the fresh tales of RJ's day at school. There is a certain morbid reality to recognizing that it is very likely that I will never pick my children up from school on a regular basis. I won't make the after school snacks, and I won't be the first person to hear about playground fights and spelling test successes. I don't suggest that I am the first mom to deal with these issues. I certainly won't be the last. But, for today, the equation is mine alone, and no list, no formula, and no study or article can solve it. For once, an equation is solvable only by heart.