New Rules

I’m good at rules. It’s what I do. Answers are due in 20 days. Rule 9006 says a request for extension of time must be filed before the deadline runs. I’m good at rules. Or, I thought I was until I joined the ranks of school moms.  

Today was his Fall Party. We used to call this a Halloween party, but Halloween has been increasingly freaky, so now, it’s a Fall party. The rules for the party were as follows: 

Rule No. 1: No scary costumes. RJ went as a farmer. He wanted to be a harvester--the actual machine that harvests the wheat, but I’m a mom, not a miracle worker. Steel blades and tires were not in my costume arsenal.  Farmer made the grade as non-scary. So did Bible-Man (purple cape. gold mask.).   Batman made the grade for the school party, but RJ was scared of him. I know because he told me, “Batman worried me.” I assumed Batman was an adult in costume. Batman was in fact three-years old, three-feet tall, and apparently very, very scary at recess. As RJ’s teacher told me today, “He’s very sensitive.” (He’ll make a great husband someday. He’s learning to load the dishwasher, fold laundry, and set the table too. Little ladies, take note.). 

Rule No. 2:  RJ’s school is a Nut Free Zone: 

(I’m planning to have this sign commissioned and hang it in my office and on my front door--I need more nut free zones in my life). 

What I learned today: All M&M’s have peanuts.  In a parking lot panic after reading the ingredients on the bag, I dumped my secret lollipop stash into the candy bag for the Fall Party parade. (I keep a pound of suckers in the trunk of my car--makes rewards easy and bribes easier. I have no shame. I bribe my child with pure sugar--makes him sweeter). 

What else I learned today: Nut Free Zones do not count at the Fall party. Snickers galore. M&M’s, yes please. And, the crazy lady with 200 lollipops has some pure sugar for you too. There are exceptions to the rules--even at three year old pre-k. 

Rule No. 3:  Moms attending the party should bring treats. 

I did not bring treats. I was not on the sign-in sheet to bring cups, napkins, plates,  or treats. Neither were four of the other moms. But they knew the unwritten rule: bring treats. RJ had a marshmallow pumpkin, a bouncy ball, pumpkin s’mores, cheese lovingly crafted into a pumpkin shape, and various gummy body parts (apparently “no scary costumes” doesn’t translate into “no freaky food.”).  I am grateful for the moms who know the rules; fortunately, RJ is at a Christian school, and judgment is slow to come--particularly when the small ones have just sung their blessing song (to bless the gummy body parts, among other things). 

I’m good at rules; I was in the top of my class. I'm in a whole new classroom now. So, I’m learning the exceptions and the unwritten ones. I’ll be ready for the Thanksgiving feast next month. I’m downloading instructions for a marshmallow turkey, and I’ve already signed up for cheese sculpting classes.