Lessons

I like going to church. I learn things. I relearn things.  And,I reflect on the good (and bad) in my life. At least, I did before I started taking a toddler with me. I still learn things--but the things I learn sure have changed.

A sociology lesson: I have learned that if you teach a toddler lyrics to Rapper's Delight, he will make a joyful noise and burst into song: "At the ho-tel mo-tel Holiday Iiiinnnnnn!" My apologies to the nice lady sitting beside me; I hope she was a fan of the 80's. And I hope Jesus has a sense of humor. Surely he does. He was a toddler once too.

A biology lesson: A toddler does not have a teacup sized bladder. It's more like a thimble. And before church, he will consume the following: 16 ounces of orange juice; 2 sips of tea; and 45 goldfish crackers. He will have to tinkle during the readings. And the sermon. And the offering. He will announce from the rooftop (or chair top as the case is), "I don't wanna pee in my Huggie! Go, go, go!"

A Bible lesson: Love is patient, and love is kind.  But love takes on a whole new meaning at minute 47 of a church service with a three year old. I am patient when he refuses to let his daddy hold him and insists on mommy's lap for all 47 minutes. I am kind when he showers me with kisses. On the mouth. For just "that much" too long. And, I am more patient when I whisper, "We do not lick mommy's face. We are not a dog."

And so, when the Lord blesses me and keeps me, and when he makes his face shine upon me at the end of the service, I leave. Smarter, stickier, stinkier, and shaking hands with the nice lady who (thankfully) appears to have noticed only the sugar kisses and not "Rapper's Delight."