My Twilight Hour or, My Day as a SAHM

There's this point in the day when the sun has nearly dropped out of sight, but its light lingers long enough to allow for preschool soccer games in the yard, a family walk, or just a glass of wine on the patio--the twilight hour--not quite day, but not quite night.

Right now, I'm in my twilight hour--not quite a working mom, but not quite a SAHM (stay at home mom) either.

Today, I pretended to be a SAHM. I think it went pretty well:

6:38 a.m.--Blink awake to take GiGi from her daddy, who thoughtfully has carried her downstairs. Realize that I have gotten 6.3 hours of sleep--all at once! I feel amazing. And GiGi wants to go back to sleep!

7:45 a.m.--GiGi is awake. So is her brother. There's no milk. No cereal. Throw some frozen Pillsbury mini-biscuits on a cookie sheet and turn on Curious George to distract the kids while the biscuits bake.

8:05 a.m.--Breakfast is served! Episode Two of Curious George. Block the kitchen door with a broken baby gate (it's the thought that counts) and take 20 minutes to make myself pretty for the day.

8:10 a.m.--Pinterest lies. My hair is not falling in gentle waterfall-like waves after having worn it in adorable triple braided buns. 1985 called. It wants its crimping iron back. Scrape hair into ponytail and focus on face.

8:15 a.m.--New Birchbox "CC" cream has reacted violently with new acne regime (yes, you can be 35 and still have pimples like an angst ridden 13-year old). Splash cooling water and start over. Locate cream for sensitive skin as face now looks like raw hamburger meat. Focus on wardrobe.

8:18 a.m.--Green neutralizes red, right? Put on neon green workout top as (1) 1980s shout out to my viciously crimped ponytail; and (2) commitment to work out tonight. It's not too early to commit.

8:25 a.m.--RJ has never done the hand jive?! Download Born to Hand Jive for afternoon spontaneous fun.

9:30 a.m.--Kids are dressed. Head to WalMart for cereal, milk, various flavors of Kool Aid (for super cool pasta dye that I found on Pinterest), and pasta.  RJ asks, "How many things do we have to buy?" Respond, "It doesn't matter. You're along for the ride." Whining ensues. Threaten to put RJ in timeout all day for back talk.

9:40 a.m.--Confirm safe room installation via cell phone.

10:00 a.m.--Leave WalMart with various flavors of Kool Aid and two kind of pasta.

10:15 a.m.--Petco has discontinued the cats' special, no-barf, sensitive system kibble. Find new special, no-barf, sensitive system kibble. RJ wants to look at rats. Good God. No. Just, No.

10:20 a.m.--Check email and voice mail from work. Return call to opposing counsel. GiGi sings the ABC's while I leave a voice mail. (She knows all the way to "G"!)

10:30 a.m.--Playdate at the park with our former nanny. An hour and a half of lovely adult conversation.

Noon--Lunch! Chicken nuggets for the kids and a Hot Pocket for mom. Re-commit to workout tonight.

12:30--Nap, glorious nap time. RJ goes down without a fight. So does GiGi. I have this SAHM thing so under control.

12:45 p.m.--Dishes, laundry, bathroom vanities, cat barf. These are the things I cleaned.

1:27 p.m.--Scoop cat litter. Take out trash. Refresh all the Scentsy in the house so that it will smell like a pineapple resort when Hubsie gets home.

1:30 p.m.--Return call to opposing counsel. Have rousing discussion as to why I'm not scared to fight this one.

1:42 p.m.-- (I billed a .2!) Call co-counsel in L.A. Confirm that I'm not scared to fight this one. Ask permission to practice law as a human (sometimes it takes effort to convince out-of-state folks that we recognize human-like characteristics of even our opposing counsel here in Oklahoma).

2:30 p.m.--RJ is awake. Episode three of Curious George.

3:00 p.m.--GiGi is awake.

3:10 p.m.--GiGi is coloring princesses. Situate RJ on his stool with alphabet pasta and tweezers. Instruct him to find the letters in his name. I read on Pinterest that he would think this was super fun, and it would develop his fine motor skills.

3:13 p.m.--RJ is off the stool trying to put his finger in GiGi's ear.

3:15 p.m.--Set the timer for 15 minutes. Make RJ pick up alphabet pasta with tweezers so that he'll have something to eat for dinner.

3:18 p.m.--Snack time. (These kids need to eat again?!)

3:20 p.m.--Take burning popcorn out to garage. Open windows.

3:30 p.m.--Curious George, episode 4. I'm not proud. But it was snuggle time.

3:32 p.m.--"RJ, stop licking me! It's just weird!"

4:00 p.m.--Head to Braum's for milk and cereal.

4:05 p.m.--Distracted by neighborhood park. Stop for playtime.

4:10 p.m.--Take cell phone pictures of children having delightful afternoon treasure hunting and playing at park. Proof! See, I can do this SAHM thing! The kids are smiling after 4 o'clock! We've almost survived the day!

5:00 p.m. Leave Braum's with milk and eggs. 

5:15 p.m.  Feed RJ and GiGi sorted alphabet pasta. Eat frozen burrito (it was homemade, in my defense). 

5:30 p.m.--Teach RJ and GiGi the hand jive! Isn't Mommy spontaneous fun?!

5:50 p.m.--Text from Hubsie. He won't be home until 7!

6:13 p.m.--Play the sippy lottery. Won. It wasn't milk! Cup without a safety valve--red Kool Aid on the rug (seriously, who builds a house with white carpet?!). 

6:30 p.m.-- Bath time. Let the kids paint with shaving cream. Dress RJ in adorable Batman PJ's. 

7:00 p.m.--Daddy's home!

7:10 p.m.--"Mom, I peed my pants." Dress RJ in girls red size 4 yoga pants. In my defense, they fit him perfectly. 

7:15 p.m.--Family walk. RJ looks like a show choir major. Crocs, Batman shirt, yoga pants, and a coffee (milk) tumbler in hand. 

8:31 p.m. --What just happened? Kids are asleep. 

8:34 p.m.--Shower. Finally. Soak the crimps out of my hair. 

9:00 p.m.--Hello Kitty fleece pants. I'll work out tomorrow. 

9:01 p.m.--We're out of cereal. 

To all you SAHM's out there--hat's off. I'm exhausted. But, I'd do it again--any time, any day. Except tomorrow. Because I have a hearing. 

It's my twilight hour. Not quite a working mom. Not quite a SAHM either. Somewhere in between.