Bubbles and Lights

I used to imagine my firm's partnership vote in the year 2012. I imagined celebrations and champagne. When I joined the firm, I had one goal. I wanted my name in lights (Figuratively of course. I haven't had the nerve yet to pitch my concept of a new marquee for the front lobby.) There was a vote today, but I didn't make the ballot. I knew when I went part time that I was putting my career into a holding pattern. I agonized over the decision. And I thought I was okay with it. Until I wasn't. Because there was a vote, and I didn't make the ballot.

Work/life balance has been discussed, swept under the rug, and discussed again until the very mention of the idea makes me roll my eyes. Recently our bar journal tried to shed some new light and some new ideas. All of the articles except one were written by men. Secretly I believe that's because the mommy lawyers were up all night nursing babies and up all day taking care of all of the men in their lives. (In reality, I could have written an article too--life is about choices, and I chose to make a casserole instead of write an article. Or something like that). There is no balance. I'm not even sure there's a juggling act anymore.

At the end of the day, my career is in a holding pattern. And I'm not okay with that. But I will be. So today, I mourned a vote that could have been. I celebrated and did a little dance for a friend. And while my day didn't involve champagne, it did have bubbles (and twinkly lights too):

R.J. got his first pair of light-up shoes. He asked so politely that how could mommy say no?

P.S. GiGi turned 6 months old today. Time moves too fast to spend much time thinking about what could have been. What is is this: