The Game

I have been cleaning. And scrubbing. And dusting. And busting. Some call it nesting; I call it necessity. I hate cleaning out the kitchen. It's like confession: "Bless me father. I have sinned. It has been 3 years since I last saw the bottom shelf of the pantry. And I have wasted food.  There are stale Cheez-Its behind the instant 'taters, and I meant to cook the StoveTop last Thanksgiving. (or was it Thanksgiving 2009?)."

This time, our freezer hit rock bottom. Rock bottom being a gravely "ger-thunk! grrrriiiiind! ger-thunk!" All of which took place at 10:45 p.m.  We scrambled: "Open the door! Unplug it! Hit it with a hammer!" Anything to make it stop ger-thunking and risk waking up the sleeping toddler.

Turns out the ice maker had a leak that froze on some reactor-piece angering the freezer goblin to the point of slamming a fan blade repeatedly against an ice boulder stuck to the back of the freezer.

But, I'm a glass full kind of gal. So I took the opportunity to clean out the freezer. It's fun if you find the spoonful of sugar and make it a game. My game is this: what's the oldest thing in the kitchen (not counting the Polly Perk)? For years it was a jar of peanuts that I had moved from college to master's degree to job to law school to house. Dated 1998. Winner, winner peanut dinner.

Then my mom had a peanut craving and discovered the jar. Peanut dinner wasn't such a winner.

This time, I confess (Father, I have sinned), I found two perfectly wrapped, carefully preserved chicken breasts. Labeled. Ready to be cooked. "Chicken, November, 2007." 2007! Pre-R.J.

To the curb they go. And I mentally add another $10 to my food bank donation this year--restitution.

Sometimes I wonder just what magnificence will top the peanut dinner and the pre-child chicken. And then, just like magic...

R.J. had a tick. A tiny one. The scary kind. I read how to remove it. The article said to  "place the tick in a plastic bag in the freezer for future reference."  The article didn't say how far in the future.  Now I don't have to question what the next game winner will be: "Tick, September 5, 2011."

That little spoonful of sugar just waiting to make the game more interesting the next time we anger the freezer goblin. The glass is half full, and pending a rogue box of Aunt Jemima's pancake mix in the pantry, I think I'll have a winner.