Hey G,
I’d say “Dear Gigi,” but why be contrived? Over the past year you’ve evolved from Gigi to simply “G.” You’re that much energy and personality. You don’t even need a full name. If I say G, people immediately know who you are.
Last week, you turned six. “I’m on to the next hand!” you told me this weekend. Indeed you are onward and no doubt upward. You’ve outgrown your Little Princess castle (but we’re saving that for sissy), and you’ve grown into American Girl dolls, poring over the catalogs we receive in the mail and trying to trick me into telling you whether you'd get one for your birthday.
You named her Samantha, because that's the name of my American Girl doll. She came with a whole lot of grandparent love, from her white Sanuks ("just like mommy's!") to her trunk of dress-up costumes that match yours. I think you two are going to have a great friendship. Friends, real, imaginary, and all the in-betweens, are important to you these days.
This year has been tough for you. You had to welcome a little sister; we didn’t give you a choice in the matter. She arrived, and we made you welcome her.
It’s what you do when you add one to your crew. You welcome the new kid; make a place at the table and in this case, in mommy’s lap. It hasn’t been easy. You’ve always been my “little in the middle;” but I always thought that just meant you'd sit in the middle on the golf cart seat. The joke was on me, I suppose. You really are my little in the middle.
Little, middle, or otherwise, you’ve never been one to let your voice go unheard.
You’re loud. I’d sugarcoat it, but that’s not our way. You’re just loud. You sing loud; you cry loud; you laugh loud. "My voice can be, you know, kind of familiar," you tell me. Girl, there’s not a chance your voice won’t be heard. Use it wisely.
Be kind. Be persistent. Be strong. You know that our girl superpowers are activated when we’re kind to one another. We’re stronger when we support one another, when we’re inclusive, and when we listen more than we shout. When we compete, gossip, and exclude, we deactivate our girl power. You’re learning that true disagreement means more than throwing a hissy fit (unless there are Skittles involved. Then, by all means, throwing yourself on the ground is in fact the better way to be heard--because no one cares that your brother got three more Skittles.). But, there’s power in dissent. Change can be created by holding your ground. And, at this rate, you're going to change more than the world; you're going to change the whole universe!
(But, you still have to take baths. That won’t change no matter how much you dissent, disagree, object, and hold your ground.)
Your voice far exceeds your stature.
This year, you finally started to notice that you're often the shortest and smallest kid on the field, in the classroom, or on the stage. Sometimes you want to quit because you feel small. You may be little, but I can’t let you quit because you’re the smallest. The truth is, you come from small stock. You may always be the shortest person in the room. You may always be the little in the middle of anything that you do.
Every night, you fight bedtime. You fight bedtime as though it's the biggest battle of your life--every single night. And when the tears have finally subsided, and you've agreed to put your damp curls on the pillow, we talk.
"Be kind," I tell you. "Be persistent, and be strong, and then you will be...." I wait for the answer. Sometimes the answer is sleepy. Sometimes grumpy. Sometimes angry. Sometimes giggly. But always, the answer is the same: "amazing."
Be kind. Be persistent. Be strong. And then you will be amazing.
You're little. You're in the middle. And you will be amazing.
Happy Birthday G.
Be silly.
Be sweet.
Eat the cake. Always. Especially if it's pink.
Love your mother.
Play with dolls until you're too old, and then, put them away so that you can play with them again when you feel lonely or sad or when you remember that you're still my little in the middle--even when you're thirteen.
Find joy in the little things, like a cart full of cupcakes and birthday presents, especially when it has your name on it.
Always take the chance to fly.
Remember when you feel lonely or sad that you have true friends. Some people never have a true friend. You're one of the lucky ones. You found your "calm place" before you could talk. Be kind. There are only a few true friends in this big wide world.
Hold tightly to the ones you find.
Be kind. Be persistent. Be strong. Be amazing.
